Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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