You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
