Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
