So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
