SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
