found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
