Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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