Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
