The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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