My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
