This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
