im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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