So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize