false alarm. still invincible.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize