I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
