Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
