I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize