im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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