Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize