i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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