You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
