Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize