Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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