College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
FUCK WHALES
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