how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
