But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
They are going to name an STD after you.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
