idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
