I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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