So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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