I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i dont even know how to be here
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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