Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My bed smells like the plague
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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