just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
