Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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