Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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