Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
