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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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