my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
