I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
