god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
that is very illegal...i love you.
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