There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
