Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize