And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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