Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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