why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize