check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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