i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
