so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
