I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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