morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
