so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
