just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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