i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize