Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
