You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
