Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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