covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
