Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
