my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize