I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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