dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
