brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize