i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
