I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
