I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
