Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
