It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
