You're a womanizer and a bitch.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
