now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
