somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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