I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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